Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Are Cougars Vampires in Disguise?
It's not just teenagers fascinated with vampires and the whole damn vamp culture.
We're all bitten by the lure of vampires in books, on TV and in the movies to the tune of millions reading The Passage by Justin Cronin and viewing True Blood and The Twilight Saga. (Is it the third or fourth in the Twilight series?)
We're all bitten by the lure of vampires in books, on TV and in the movies to the tune of millions reading The Passage by Justin Cronin and viewing True Blood and The Twilight Saga. (Is it the third or fourth in the Twilight series?)
The subject of vampires came up among a group of friends who range in age from late 40s to mid 60s. They, like our entire nation, are intrigued by vampires. Why? Well, according to Wikipedia, "The continuing popularity of the vampire theme has been ascribed to a combination of two factors: the representation of sexuality and the perennial dread of mortality." No wonder we're intrigued. Our national obsession with sexuality and how to remain young (i.e., mortality) makes vampire lusting almost instinctive. Sexuality and mortality? The two (often declining) powers fearlessly sought by most people over 35. (I do not need to go into detail here, do I?)
Following this description of vampires, I checked out the term Cougar in the Urban Dictionary [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cougar]. Among its friendlier references, Urban Dictionary says a Cougar is "...A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted. A cougar's victims are usually under 25, as cougars prefer to mate with men who still have hair. Cougars generally feed and then continue hunting, as they enjoy role reversal." (Italics, mine.)
Is that, then, the fear and the lure of Cougars? Are we afraid of, and also do we shy away from the Cougar within us because we are attracted/repelled by the possibilities of Cougardom? Is it our puritanical beliefs that, once a woman reaches 35 her sexuality and her mortality are seriously on the decline?
I've got to tell you, when I first met SC (Sweet Cub) 13 years ago, I knew, even before he told me, that he was younger than I. But, I encouraged (yes, encouraged) the relationship. Why? Because I was attracted (i.e., sexuality) to his youth (i.e., immortality). Like a vampire, I could, by association, feel more attractive and younger. Voila! Big Duh! Not unlike the attraction to the cult of vampires.
WHY IS IT THAT...
We continue to seek immortality, even as we realize we're born to die? Is it the desire for immortality that creates art, success, inventions... and children? Perhaps, like most fairytales, the cult of vampires teaches us a life lesson, which is that, in order to be immortal, we must succeed at something worth remembering.
With love and a wish that each of us attains some form of immortality,
-- Marilyn
WHY IS IT THAT...
We continue to seek immortality, even as we realize we're born to die? Is it the desire for immortality that creates art, success, inventions... and children? Perhaps, like most fairytales, the cult of vampires teaches us a life lesson, which is that, in order to be immortal, we must succeed at something worth remembering.
With love and a wish that each of us attains some form of immortality,
-- Marilyn
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Cubs' Town Says Bring on the Cougars
I don't know about you, but I kinda' outgrew the Miss America Pageant when I was about 12. I thought it was full of plastic women in plastic bodies saying dumb, plastic things. Get my drift?
Now, along comes the 2nd Annual National Cougar Convention (June 26, 2010). Where else? Chicago, home of the Cubs. Cute.
The host, Rich Gosse (50/60-ish singles spokesman and author) will preside over the event and a new Ms. Cougar will be voted upon by a bunch of Cubs in the audience.
If you're curious, check out more info about the event at http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/jane-of-all-trades/2010/06/come-to-momma--cougar-convention-comes-to-chicago.html. Truthfully, it sounds like a great way for Chicago to promote itself, and it likely will display beautiful women 35+. Display is the problem.
Sexy, attractive women in serious Cougar relationships deserve better than being put on display. What would the Great Queen Eliz (who married a man 30 years her junior) think about this? The amazing actress, Ruth Gordon, who also married (and remained with for 42 years) a younger man, is probably trying to claw her way out of the grave in order to pounce on Messrs. Gosse and Cubs with fangs bared. And Demi, dear Demi, what do you think of this? (Well, maybe Demi doesn't give 2 sh*ts about it.)
WHY IS IT THAT...
There are no Mr. America, Mr. Senior America, Mr. Teen America pageants, Mr. Dumb but Cute America? Hmmm... I don't think men would stand for such bullsh*t. It's OK to be Mr. Universe (do they still have those?), because it's all brawn. But real men? Real men wouldn't stand for being paraded around in tight trunks to be voted on for their looks and boobs (I mean abs). Cougars of America -- it's time to let the world know we're more than a nice-to-look-at package and that there's a lot of wisdom behind those well-coiffed heads.
To all my friends and "frenemies": Stand strong against demeaning labels!
Love to all,
Marilyn
Now, along comes the 2nd Annual National Cougar Convention (June 26, 2010). Where else? Chicago, home of the Cubs. Cute.
The host, Rich Gosse (50/60-ish singles spokesman and author) will preside over the event and a new Ms. Cougar will be voted upon by a bunch of Cubs in the audience.
If you're curious, check out more info about the event at http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/jane-of-all-trades/2010/06/come-to-momma--cougar-convention-comes-to-chicago.html. Truthfully, it sounds like a great way for Chicago to promote itself, and it likely will display beautiful women 35+. Display is the problem.
Sexy, attractive women in serious Cougar relationships deserve better than being put on display. What would the Great Queen Eliz (who married a man 30 years her junior) think about this? The amazing actress, Ruth Gordon, who also married (and remained with for 42 years) a younger man, is probably trying to claw her way out of the grave in order to pounce on Messrs. Gosse and Cubs with fangs bared. And Demi, dear Demi, what do you think of this? (Well, maybe Demi doesn't give 2 sh*ts about it.)
WHY IS IT THAT...
There are no Mr. America, Mr. Senior America, Mr. Teen America pageants, Mr. Dumb but Cute America? Hmmm... I don't think men would stand for such bullsh*t. It's OK to be Mr. Universe (do they still have those?), because it's all brawn. But real men? Real men wouldn't stand for being paraded around in tight trunks to be voted on for their looks and boobs (I mean abs). Cougars of America -- it's time to let the world know we're more than a nice-to-look-at package and that there's a lot of wisdom behind those well-coiffed heads.
To all my friends and "frenemies": Stand strong against demeaning labels!
Love to all,
Marilyn
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Why Some Girls Grow Up to Be Cougars, or The Tiger Woods Syndrome
"Any time a woman steps out of line and does something society doesn't think is proper all hell breaks loose."
Why Cougars Will Prevail
Why Cougars Will Prevail
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Meet My Mother
Last week I told you what happened when Sweet Cub (SC) met my son. Whew! I was so glad when that was over.
"OK love," SC said, "now I'd like you to meet my family." Umm... why? At this point in our relationship I didn't see the need to meet his family. After all, we were now a couple for a mere 3 months. What's the hurry?
Rats! SC didn't see it that way. "Hey doll, I had to deal with the stress of meeting your son so he'd know I wasn't some weirdo trying to bilk you out of your 401k, so now it's your turn to show my mom that you're not a vampire sucking the best years of my life from me. (NB: unfortunately, before she and I met, his mom really thought that I was a daughter of Dracula.)
WHY IS IT THAT...
...meet the parents is so filled with emotions like Dread, Anguish, Fear, Loathing (usually of self, because, how will you -- a mere mortal -- be able to match the expectations of parents dating their darling?).
So when the dreadful day arrived I decided to dress appropriately, like a teenager, in shorts and a t-shirt. We planned to have Sunday dinner at his mom's house. It was a hot, soggy August day, so a dress, heels and a beehive updo would not be appropriate.
Dinner would include his mom, sister, SC and I. I figured that I would be the Sunday roast. Actually, it turned out fine. Sure, I was grilled about where I work, what I did, how old was I, were my parents still alive, how old was I, where was I born, do I have children, how old was I... do I have grandchildren? Yikes, the BIG question. "Yes, I have two. See, SC's mom, you could be a great-grandma, instantly!" Of course, I didn't say that. I'm not cruel (nor was I even remotely interested in marrying. Marriage is not generally reserved for Cougars.)
Like son and SC, Mom and I have made peace with one another. After all, we've had 13 years to work on it.
COUGARS IN THE NEWS
My Blog friend (The Angry List, www.angrylist.blogspot.com) sent me an article that originally appeared in Woman's Day magazine. Woman's Day! The bastion of all that's holy in wedlock and traditional couplings wrote a story about Cougars! And it was positive!
The article, "Do Relationships Between Older Women and Younger Men Work", [http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/relationships/1058110/Do-relationships-between-older-women-and-younger-men-work],quotes that "Older women have had relationships with younger men since history began. But in the past only aristocratic, rich, famous or powerful women were able to do so and survive the condemnation from society," says Valerie Gibson, author of Cougar, A Guide For Older Women Dating Younger Men (www.valeriegibson.com)." The article, along with some other interesting data suggests, just like more traditional relationships, a Cougar/Cub relationship will work only if two people are honest, open and transparent with one another. Duh!
Dear friends, I hope all your relationships are honest, open and transparent, cuz those are the only one's that will work.
With love to all,
Marilyn
"OK love," SC said, "now I'd like you to meet my family." Umm... why? At this point in our relationship I didn't see the need to meet his family. After all, we were now a couple for a mere 3 months. What's the hurry?
Rats! SC didn't see it that way. "Hey doll, I had to deal with the stress of meeting your son so he'd know I wasn't some weirdo trying to bilk you out of your 401k, so now it's your turn to show my mom that you're not a vampire sucking the best years of my life from me. (NB: unfortunately, before she and I met, his mom really thought that I was a daughter of Dracula.)
WHY IS IT THAT...
...meet the parents is so filled with emotions like Dread, Anguish, Fear, Loathing (usually of self, because, how will you -- a mere mortal -- be able to match the expectations of parents dating their darling?).
So when the dreadful day arrived I decided to dress appropriately, like a teenager, in shorts and a t-shirt. We planned to have Sunday dinner at his mom's house. It was a hot, soggy August day, so a dress, heels and a beehive updo would not be appropriate.
Dinner would include his mom, sister, SC and I. I figured that I would be the Sunday roast. Actually, it turned out fine. Sure, I was grilled about where I work, what I did, how old was I, were my parents still alive, how old was I, where was I born, do I have children, how old was I... do I have grandchildren? Yikes, the BIG question. "Yes, I have two. See, SC's mom, you could be a great-grandma, instantly!" Of course, I didn't say that. I'm not cruel (nor was I even remotely interested in marrying. Marriage is not generally reserved for Cougars.)
Like son and SC, Mom and I have made peace with one another. After all, we've had 13 years to work on it.
COUGARS IN THE NEWS
My Blog friend (The Angry List, www.angrylist.blogspot.com) sent me an article that originally appeared in Woman's Day magazine. Woman's Day! The bastion of all that's holy in wedlock and traditional couplings wrote a story about Cougars! And it was positive!
The article, "Do Relationships Between Older Women and Younger Men Work", [http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/relationships/1058110/Do-relationships-between-older-women-and-younger-men-work],quotes that "Older women have had relationships with younger men since history began. But in the past only aristocratic, rich, famous or powerful women were able to do so and survive the condemnation from society," says Valerie Gibson, author of Cougar, A Guide For Older Women Dating Younger Men (www.valeriegibson.com)." The article, along with some other interesting data suggests, just like more traditional relationships, a Cougar/Cub relationship will work only if two people are honest, open and transparent with one another. Duh!
Dear friends, I hope all your relationships are honest, open and transparent, cuz those are the only one's that will work.
With love to all,
Marilyn
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
When Alpha Males Meet
Last week a study was published in a Canadian newspaper that concluded women who married younger men died earlier than anticipated. (My thought is, then don't get married; just enjoy the moments together -- duh!)
I loved reading the response to this study on The Real Cougar Women blog at: http://www.therealcougarwoman.com/2010/05/young-men-can-kill-ya.html. The blogger of The Real Cougar Women, Linda Franklin, essentially says "bullcrap" to this theory.
All I know is, since I've been with Sweet Cub (13 years), I've been healthy, and happy. (Maybe it's because we're not married and continue to have separate living arrangements.) Except for a few disasters based on our age difference, we've never had anyone take exception to our relationship -- and we've maintained a healthy balance of friendship among peers so that he can watch TV with other Cubs while I go off to a museum or theater with my gorgeous over-40/50/60 women friends.
Getting back to disasters, the biggest one was the first time Sweet Cub met Son. Since there's less than a decade in years between them I figured I might encounter some snarling and sniffing when these Alpha Males met.
WHY IS IT THAT...
...sons, especially, think their divorced moms (or, for that matter, moms still married to the same old guy who sired sons) should head to a nunnery after 40, rather than dabble in romance?
When I suggested breakfast so that Son and Cub could meet one another, both grudgingly agreed. Son mumbled something under his breath that sounded like, "I'd be happier if you said you were introducing me to your Lesbian friend," and Sweet Cub said, not so sweetly, "Let's make it a quickie at McDonald's."
I could already sense this would go quite well.
On a sultry morning in late August, 1997, at a Big Boy (Hah! The irony.) Restaurant the three of us met for breakfast. There was a lot of positioning and posturing. Little was said. They glared at one another and snarled comments when asked to pass the butter or discuss world events. This continued for about 45 minutes. Despite the air-conditioning that kept the butter at refrigerated temperature, my menopausal self was sweating through a white t-shirt. The sweat was freezing on my skin and I had goosebumps the size of the egg yolks on my plate. I wondered if we would all survive this debacle when Son said, "Hey, nice to meet you, gotta' go." Relief. On the way home, Sweet Cub said, "I think that went pretty well, don't you?"
The breakfast meeting was never mentioned again. Fortunately, Son lives a couple hours away, and both men in my life only see one another about three or four times a year. They sort of have a kind of male conversation now. But they're still wary and territorial around one another. I don't think they'll ever really be close buds.
To all my Cougar friends and friends of Cougars, let's realize one thing: our adult children will never understand or care to discuss the lives of Mom Cougars.
With love to all,
Marilyn
I loved reading the response to this study on The Real Cougar Women blog at: http://www.therealcougarwoman.com/2010/05/young-men-can-kill-ya.html. The blogger of The Real Cougar Women, Linda Franklin, essentially says "bullcrap" to this theory.
All I know is, since I've been with Sweet Cub (13 years), I've been healthy, and happy. (Maybe it's because we're not married and continue to have separate living arrangements.) Except for a few disasters based on our age difference, we've never had anyone take exception to our relationship -- and we've maintained a healthy balance of friendship among peers so that he can watch TV with other Cubs while I go off to a museum or theater with my gorgeous over-40/50/60 women friends.
Getting back to disasters, the biggest one was the first time Sweet Cub met Son. Since there's less than a decade in years between them I figured I might encounter some snarling and sniffing when these Alpha Males met.
WHY IS IT THAT...
...sons, especially, think their divorced moms (or, for that matter, moms still married to the same old guy who sired sons) should head to a nunnery after 40, rather than dabble in romance?
When I suggested breakfast so that Son and Cub could meet one another, both grudgingly agreed. Son mumbled something under his breath that sounded like, "I'd be happier if you said you were introducing me to your Lesbian friend," and Sweet Cub said, not so sweetly, "Let's make it a quickie at McDonald's."
I could already sense this would go quite well.
On a sultry morning in late August, 1997, at a Big Boy (Hah! The irony.) Restaurant the three of us met for breakfast. There was a lot of positioning and posturing. Little was said. They glared at one another and snarled comments when asked to pass the butter or discuss world events. This continued for about 45 minutes. Despite the air-conditioning that kept the butter at refrigerated temperature, my menopausal self was sweating through a white t-shirt. The sweat was freezing on my skin and I had goosebumps the size of the egg yolks on my plate. I wondered if we would all survive this debacle when Son said, "Hey, nice to meet you, gotta' go." Relief. On the way home, Sweet Cub said, "I think that went pretty well, don't you?"
The breakfast meeting was never mentioned again. Fortunately, Son lives a couple hours away, and both men in my life only see one another about three or four times a year. They sort of have a kind of male conversation now. But they're still wary and territorial around one another. I don't think they'll ever really be close buds.
To all my Cougar friends and friends of Cougars, let's realize one thing: our adult children will never understand or care to discuss the lives of Mom Cougars.
With love to all,
Marilyn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
