Meeting Encounters of the Third Kind

Whether you're Cougar or not, meeting your sig-other's family, friends, frenemies or what have you is jam-packed with all kinds of emo (ammo?).

SC and I had already been through that first-meeting-gulp-fest between his mom and me, followed by SC and my son. But, meeting the family of a former husband? Now, that's something I wouldn't want to be put through -- even if I were as steely-hearted as OJ Simpson after bail was denied. Is this an encounter that's somewhere out there, even for a Cougar relationship?

I was thrilled to be invited to the graduation cookout of my former husband's grandson. I've remained in touch with former husband's kids and looked forward to the party.

Even tho' I thought meeting the family of a former husband is kinda' lame, I asked SC if he wanted to come along with me, never expecting he would say yes (see 'graph #2 above). The cookout was scheduled for Sunday -- our special day together, so I thought it would be rude not to ask if SC would like to join me. To say I would be shocked if he said yes is like saying I would be shocked if LeBron James came back to Cleveland to play for the Cavaliers and we won the championship title next year. Both scenarios would leave me speechless.

He said, "Yes." I was speechless.

Background and Spoiler Alert: Former husband and I had been married for 15 years. It was a second marriage for both. Our divorce was not the "let's remain friends despite our differences" kind; more like the split between Soviet Union and U.S. circa 1953. SC knew all the sordid details of the breakup and that I remained in touch with former husband's kids, his sister. And his first wife. (Don't ask. It's really quite harmless and a lot less interesting than it sounds.) "Why," I asked myself, "did SC want to meet former husband's family? Perversity? Curiosity? A desire to spend every possible minute with me (sigh)?

So, being a strong believer in open communication, I asked SC why he wanted to come with me. "Just curious," he said. "They were all a part of your life and I'm curious to see why they still remain a part of your life after all these years."

Ye Gads! No wonder I love this guy. He's honest, normal, and very open about his feelings.

We went. We ate. He met. No big deal. Except one thing: SC really liked  former husband's first wife. Has this Cougar bitten off more than she can chew?

WHY IS IT THAT...
...relationships are all pretty much the same, but the devil is in the details? Every relationship, whether straight, gay, Cougar, older or younger, has its universal ups and downs. Some moments, passionate about one another; other moments, we can't understand why we stay. Yet, how each couple handles their differences or disagreements remains a mystery to other couples, who might handle the same difference in an entirely different way. Would you have invited your partner to the party, even though it might have turned out to be very uncomfortable?

With love and hope that all your encounters are lovable, laughable and long-lived,
Marilyn