The other day I complained to Sweet Cub (SC) about a nasty pain down my right leg. "Gawd, I hope this goes away soon," I said. "If not, I may wind up with a limp."
Darling SC looked up from his newspaper and said, "You're just old, sweetheart. Nothing to worry about."
Nothing to worry about! Here's this man 16 years younger than me telling me I'm just old. I wanted to kick him out of the soft microfiber sofa he was sitting on and slam the door on his soon-to-be-sagging ass. The nerve! Telling me it's just old age. But, wait, he's right. Aching bones and swollen joints are part of old age. So rather than dump him I instead decided to grill him.
Do I look old? Do I seem old to him? Are my looks fading faster than a five dollar bill in a gambler's pocket?
"Babe, you look fabulous," he said. "But your outward appearance can't erase the fact that you're aging."
He said this as a matter of fact, and his eyes showed such warmth and love that I had to concede defeat. Ugh, I was aging. Yup, I was aging. But the good news is, so is he. Granted, SC will never catch up to me, but he won't remain that sweet bird of youth forever. And then it hit me, the reason SC and I mesh so well is that he's always been an "old man" while I've always been more of an adventurer -- unwilling to give in to circumstances and willing to try new things.
Amanda Redman, an aging (52) but still quite beautiful British actress, summed up quite well why her 12 year Cougar relationship with 40-year-old mobile phone designer Damian Schnabel works for both of them. She says that Schnabel provides the maturity in their relationship, allowing her to indulge her more childish side. "He's far more grown-up than me and that works brilliantly. To have someone who's more mature than me in every way apart from physically is marvellous, frankly," said Redman.
I was struck by Redman's comment, because it fit our relationship so well. SC may be younger in years but in some ways he's older than I am. I'll likely catch up to him and slow down, too. But, not right now.
I can relate to this too. My boyfriend is 9 years my junior and he regularly reminds me to avoid fast food and to eat well because "I want you to be healthy so we can live long lives together..." Sweet, yes, but he usually adds "You're not young anymore" or "You're getting older now". I'm only 31!
ReplyDeleteI don't feel 31, and I'm sure I don't behave 31 either. To me, he is mature beyond his years, so I feel that we meet halfway. I think that close mental/emotional ages matter so much more than physical ages.
You sound like my father in law. Being 93/94 who knows his real age, he still sees himself as a chipper 70+. Still driving and looking at women, he should be reading your blogs!
ReplyDeleteYes, we all age internally, but it is the outside appearance and mind that gets us through the process.
You look great my dear, keep up the good work.
Yes. But it's the internal stuff that'll kill ya. :)
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